Why you may need to treat another person unkindly
Is there ever a situation where it is better to treat someone in what seems to be an unkind way? The answer is yes. In particular, it is sometimes necessary to treat young children in what may appear to be an unkind manner for their own good.
For example, very young children do not always want to go to bed when their parents tell them to. Perhaps they have been having fun playing with a favourite toy and are not ready to bring their play to an end. Perhaps they think that they are not tired enough to go to bed. Whatever the reason, the child shows great reluctance to go to bed, sometimes even kicking and screaming.
What should the parents do? Should they treat the child in a kind, lenient way and let the child stay up? Should they give in to his or her wishes?
The answer is no, except in very unusual circumstances. Young children rarely know what is good for them and staying up too late is certainly not good for them. They may feel that they are not tired, but if they stay up too late, they will become overtired and very, very cross.
Parents know that children need a good night’s rest and they should make sure that their child gets it, whatever his or her demand or insistence. If the parents make it quite clear that the child has to go to bed at a certain time and that they will not listen to any arguments or protests, then the child will eventually accept the situation and a routine will be established. The parents may have to live through a few screaming fits, but it will be worth it in the end. If, however, the parents treat the child with what appears to be kindness and lenience and give the child his or her own way, the bedtime tantrums are likely to continue for some time.
Young children have a tendency to protest at what they are given to eat. They may only want to eat chips, ice cream, sweets or biscuits. Given the chance, many young children would have a very poor diet and it is the duty of parents to make sure that their children have a healthy and nutritious diet. They may have to treat the child rather unkindly by insisting that something more nutritious is eaten before dessert can be given or by withdrawing treats. This approach can cause tears and tantrums, but it is necessary for the sake of the child’s health.
When children are older and become teenagers, they usually feel a need to start being independent. This often means rebelling against their parents and their rules and advice. For example, they often want to stay out later than the time set by their parents. With a view to persuading their parents to extend the curfew, they often claim that their friends are allowed to stay out later. Some parents may be concerned in case they are being too strict and unkind to their children, and they may relax their rules. However, they should stick to their guns and consider the safety of their children and their need to get enough sleep.
If children are to be brought up properly, their parents must be careful not to be too indulgent towards them. They have to treat them in what could appear to be an unkind manner if the children are going to grow up into sensible human beings.
